4 May 2011
Dear Anne,
"While Paul was so speaking in his defense, Festus said in a loud voice, 'You are mad, Paul; much learning is driving you mad.' But Paul replied, 'I am not mad, most excellent Festus, I am speaking words of truth and reason.'" Acts 26:24-25
Sunday has called my attention in a profound way. Two events coincided on that day that I recognized have a direct bearing on my soul. Most devastating was the news of another extrajudicial killing and the President's word admitting his policy of extrajudicial mass murder since last August. Because of a suspect of terrorism living in Pakistan the President sent unmanned aerial vehicles firing hellfire rockets throughout the region. Hundreds and hundreds of incidences of extrajudicial killing were warranted, according to the President's speech, because he had received intelligence of Osama bin Ladin's location in a compound deep in Pakistan. A suspect of terrorism is innocent until tried and proven guilty. the fact that the presence of one suspect alone could sanction indiscriminate invasion resulting in hundreds of innocent lives lost, the legitimation of Drone Warfare itself, deeply disturbs me.
I am a child of the Catholic generation raised by Pope John Paul II. He taught us by example to be global citizens traveling the world: truly he exemplified a ministry of presence. My generation was made conscientious of the responsibility to lead faithful lives, a practice of small steps we took in pilgrimages during world youth days. On Sunday the church remembered his saintly life. I will forever think of his teaching of life in commitment to the neighbor known and unknown requiring risks to accept the burden of the community -- what Pope John Paul II called a virtue, solidarity.
Anne, I believe that I am called to witness solidarity in a unique way now. My heart senses the way ahead. Allowing myself three days of purification I sense the timing has come to demonstrate my love of enemy. This Mother's Day I will see my mom on a visitation, God willing, and then I will make my stand for love, for solidarity.
A more precise mind could formulate what I sense is wrong. When I look around at the men here serving their sentences and then be deported, I am struck again and again by the discrepancy where the government labels these men criminals for trespassing yet has its military, my military, myself, entering foreign countries against which no declaration of war was imposed. The office of the executive controls, enforces, but does it have a right to determine law? Currently it does. I therefore feel impelled to resist the powers that be. My heart mourns the loss of accountability representatives once had to check the powers of the President. As a citizen of this country I know my duty under international law to resist extrajudicial killing. The moment came Sunday when by Presidential decree all the previous drone warfare was excused. As a son of the Catholic church made bolder by the teaching of Pope John Paul II, I make the historic occasion one week from the day.
My conscience speaks. I may be imprisoned but my soul is free. Worship the true God with me, friend; resolute our object of solidarity shall never be LOCKED DOWN.
Chris
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A special prayer intention
From a 5 April 2011 Letter
---------------------------------------
Anne, if you could consider Sticks' prayer intention for visitors. His wife has left him. A lead for the kitchen assembly line, soft spoken, bedraggled unshaven, he admits that's he's at the anger stage of grief. He has, I think, less than six months remaining on his sentence here at Seattle FDC. Anne, his grey eyes yearn for a compassionate listener, even a penpal could sooth his need for connection. This morning he quotes from The Remnant, a book in a series I frankly don't know the author of, saying it narrates a history of the apocolypse, revelation period where the followers of the risen anti-Christ meet in secret with a code greeting, "He is risen" and reply "Chris is risen, indeed."
---------------------------------------
Anne, if you could consider Sticks' prayer intention for visitors. His wife has left him. A lead for the kitchen assembly line, soft spoken, bedraggled unshaven, he admits that's he's at the anger stage of grief. He has, I think, less than six months remaining on his sentence here at Seattle FDC. Anne, his grey eyes yearn for a compassionate listener, even a penpal could sooth his need for connection. This morning he quotes from The Remnant, a book in a series I frankly don't know the author of, saying it narrates a history of the apocolypse, revelation period where the followers of the risen anti-Christ meet in secret with a code greeting, "He is risen" and reply "Chris is risen, indeed."
St. Nick in SEATAC FDC
9 May 2011
Dear Anne,
"As you gain control of your mind, with the help of your higher self, then your mind and ego become your allies. but the uncontrolled mind behaves as an enemy." Bhagavad Gita 6.6
"Yea, that I walk through the valley of death I shall fear no evil," quotes Gian, my celly in Solitary Housing Unit (SHU) Zeta Beta 14 House. He's reading the USA Today that arrived for him this afternoon in the mail. "I feel so badly for the Mississippi Tennessee and Louisiana. I want to go and help with my body." He's a formidable figure even as a sixty year old. With meat cleaver hands and an ox-like head, it was easy to imagine him as the star high school lineman. He spoke of the incident that marked this character for life.
In the locker room one day the bully football players were passing around a box of juice, keep away from the trainer. when it dropped to the ground they shrugged and went to the practice field. The coach came out huffing a few minutes later "Who did that?" Gian saw nobody making a move so he stepped up to take the heat. "I did, Coach," he said. "You're off the team!!"
Gian learned a year and a half later that the seniors had met to decide his fate. The playoffs were just about to begin. "We won't kick 'em off. Just bench him a game to punish him and teach him a lesson," they agreed. The team lost the opening playoff game, however, and Gian only learned the verdict after a year when a friend coughed it up. Henceforth, Gian disowned his friend. "Sure he didn't mind hanging out at my house and using my things but he kept the secret a year before telling me truthfully what happened."
To this day Gian tests his friends. That explains why he is in SHU, for putting money on the books for two buddies "just to see what they'd do with it." But really, because they have been forgotten by their people on the outside. Anne, my celly is a living St. Nick!
Chris
Dear Anne,
"As you gain control of your mind, with the help of your higher self, then your mind and ego become your allies. but the uncontrolled mind behaves as an enemy." Bhagavad Gita 6.6
"Yea, that I walk through the valley of death I shall fear no evil," quotes Gian, my celly in Solitary Housing Unit (SHU) Zeta Beta 14 House. He's reading the USA Today that arrived for him this afternoon in the mail. "I feel so badly for the Mississippi Tennessee and Louisiana. I want to go and help with my body." He's a formidable figure even as a sixty year old. With meat cleaver hands and an ox-like head, it was easy to imagine him as the star high school lineman. He spoke of the incident that marked this character for life.
In the locker room one day the bully football players were passing around a box of juice, keep away from the trainer. when it dropped to the ground they shrugged and went to the practice field. The coach came out huffing a few minutes later "Who did that?" Gian saw nobody making a move so he stepped up to take the heat. "I did, Coach," he said. "You're off the team!!"
Gian learned a year and a half later that the seniors had met to decide his fate. The playoffs were just about to begin. "We won't kick 'em off. Just bench him a game to punish him and teach him a lesson," they agreed. The team lost the opening playoff game, however, and Gian only learned the verdict after a year when a friend coughed it up. Henceforth, Gian disowned his friend. "Sure he didn't mind hanging out at my house and using my things but he kept the secret a year before telling me truthfully what happened."
To this day Gian tests his friends. That explains why he is in SHU, for putting money on the books for two buddies "just to see what they'd do with it." But really, because they have been forgotten by their people on the outside. Anne, my celly is a living St. Nick!
Chris
Monday, May 9, 2011
A Lust for Life
21 April 2011
Dear Anne,
"Simon Peter said to him, 'Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.'" Jn 13:9
In a swell after the Bible study I was elated to discover on the book cart Lust for Life, the 50th anniversary edition of Irving Stone's autobiographical novel of Vincent Van Gogh. In a blue ballpoint, the inscription inside reads:
"To Crisman -
I read this book rather incidentally right after my return home (sophomore year)...and it not only spoke to me, it screamed and cried to me...the life of Van Gogh represents a similar struggle that we share, that in many ways has brought us together. I trust you will relate strongly. You have effortlessly and beautifully reminded me what in ways this book taught me -- that there is an artist in all of us, in ME...you spark such electrical creativity in me. Thank you. And though we may not necessarily be artists of canvas, we are artists of life. I wish for you so much...mostly peace and love,
Kate"
Anne, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Who was I saying it to -- Crow? Greg? -- that I love life so much.
No, its not even the events that happen, that I experience. But Life itself. The possibilities of goodness. At a certain point "love" can't begin to express this. If love were black and contained every single shade, every color of meaning, of despair and tragic consequence, then I even love Guantanamo Bay Prison and Abu Zubayda.
Chris~
Dear Anne,
"Simon Peter said to him, 'Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.'" Jn 13:9
In a swell after the Bible study I was elated to discover on the book cart Lust for Life, the 50th anniversary edition of Irving Stone's autobiographical novel of Vincent Van Gogh. In a blue ballpoint, the inscription inside reads:
"To Crisman -
I read this book rather incidentally right after my return home (sophomore year)...and it not only spoke to me, it screamed and cried to me...the life of Van Gogh represents a similar struggle that we share, that in many ways has brought us together. I trust you will relate strongly. You have effortlessly and beautifully reminded me what in ways this book taught me -- that there is an artist in all of us, in ME...you spark such electrical creativity in me. Thank you. And though we may not necessarily be artists of canvas, we are artists of life. I wish for you so much...mostly peace and love,
Kate"
Anne, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Who was I saying it to -- Crow? Greg? -- that I love life so much.
No, its not even the events that happen, that I experience. But Life itself. The possibilities of goodness. At a certain point "love" can't begin to express this. If love were black and contained every single shade, every color of meaning, of despair and tragic consequence, then I even love Guantanamo Bay Prison and Abu Zubayda.
Chris~
Insane in the Membrane
From 21 April letter
------------------------
"A petition was circulated in the Place Lamartine. Ninety men and women signed it.
To Mayor Tardieu:
We, the undersigned citizens of Arles, are firmly convinced that Vincent Van Gogh, resident of Place Lamartine, 2, is a dangerous lunatic, not fit to be at large. We hereby call upon you as our Mayor to have this madman locked up.
It was very close to election time in Arles. Mayor Tardieu did not wish to displease so many voters. he ordered the superintendent of the police to arrest Vincent. They found him laying on the floor below the window sill. They carried him off to jail." Lust for Life by Irving Stone (1984).
Eric stopped by for a visit. When I told him how Van Gogh was taken to an insane asylum he said, "This place is like an insane asylum. Only here, we're the sane ones. The CO's are insane. The system is insane."
------------------------
"A petition was circulated in the Place Lamartine. Ninety men and women signed it.
To Mayor Tardieu:
We, the undersigned citizens of Arles, are firmly convinced that Vincent Van Gogh, resident of Place Lamartine, 2, is a dangerous lunatic, not fit to be at large. We hereby call upon you as our Mayor to have this madman locked up.
It was very close to election time in Arles. Mayor Tardieu did not wish to displease so many voters. he ordered the superintendent of the police to arrest Vincent. They found him laying on the floor below the window sill. They carried him off to jail." Lust for Life by Irving Stone (1984).
Eric stopped by for a visit. When I told him how Van Gogh was taken to an insane asylum he said, "This place is like an insane asylum. Only here, we're the sane ones. The CO's are insane. The system is insane."
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The shifting paradigm
14 March 2011
Dear anne,
"How tarnished is the gold,
how changed the noble metal,
How the sacred stones lie strewn
at every street corner!"
"Hey Spicer," Greg said, "You look like you've been working out!" I burst out laughing. No, I definitely haven't. And Greg, who hasn't either isn't beyond ribbing me for something we've got in common.
Anne, months ago I accepted the reality that an act like "crossing the line" would engage me both with my society's demons as well as my personal demons. Instead of trying first to absolutely evict my own, I resolved to embrace my imperfection with an openness to the greater goodness of society also.
My letters have offered you, I hope, revealing testimony of one citizen-user's experience of the US Justice System. It has come in pieces, in fragments, and admittedly in biased storytelling. For instance, yesterday I scribbled to you about Greg, and to give you, I thought, a good impression of him, I began by mentioning his reference to Grapes of Wrath. I never detailed his appearance or all of his criminal background, for although he shared a good deal, I thought of it as "immaterial" evidence. Then something occurred to me reading last week's New York Times article, "3 Officers Hurt in St. Louis Shootout, Suspect Killed."
I found myself entirely unsympathetic to the frame of the article. Immediately, I looked for holes. The man was a known felon, okay, so what? Greg has 13 felonies, would he be shot? Greg vented yesterday about the legal kidnapping he experienced and had even mentioned in a kind of fury how wrong it was that with a gun he would not go quietly. I imagined that the suspect may have held this indignation when he fired on the invading US Marshalls and then I became conscious of my bias, of how my paradigm of the world slowly shifts in my sole act of being here.
Just writing this, somehow, I would like to feel better. For I have in fact felt that I have done nothing today. I seem to merely have awoke for meals and already we're at the 10pm count. Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins and your loving letters, friends, have indulged me.
Thanks,
C
Dear anne,
"How tarnished is the gold,
how changed the noble metal,
How the sacred stones lie strewn
at every street corner!"
"Hey Spicer," Greg said, "You look like you've been working out!" I burst out laughing. No, I definitely haven't. And Greg, who hasn't either isn't beyond ribbing me for something we've got in common.
Anne, months ago I accepted the reality that an act like "crossing the line" would engage me both with my society's demons as well as my personal demons. Instead of trying first to absolutely evict my own, I resolved to embrace my imperfection with an openness to the greater goodness of society also.
My letters have offered you, I hope, revealing testimony of one citizen-user's experience of the US Justice System. It has come in pieces, in fragments, and admittedly in biased storytelling. For instance, yesterday I scribbled to you about Greg, and to give you, I thought, a good impression of him, I began by mentioning his reference to Grapes of Wrath. I never detailed his appearance or all of his criminal background, for although he shared a good deal, I thought of it as "immaterial" evidence. Then something occurred to me reading last week's New York Times article, "3 Officers Hurt in St. Louis Shootout, Suspect Killed."
I found myself entirely unsympathetic to the frame of the article. Immediately, I looked for holes. The man was a known felon, okay, so what? Greg has 13 felonies, would he be shot? Greg vented yesterday about the legal kidnapping he experienced and had even mentioned in a kind of fury how wrong it was that with a gun he would not go quietly. I imagined that the suspect may have held this indignation when he fired on the invading US Marshalls and then I became conscious of my bias, of how my paradigm of the world slowly shifts in my sole act of being here.
Just writing this, somehow, I would like to feel better. For I have in fact felt that I have done nothing today. I seem to merely have awoke for meals and already we're at the 10pm count. Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins and your loving letters, friends, have indulged me.
Thanks,
C
Monday, May 2, 2011
A page of Greg's story
13 March 2011
Dear Anne,
"A stray sheep was Israel that Lions pursued; formerly the King of Assyria devoured her, now Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon gnaws her bones." Jeremiah 50: 17
One of the orderlies made a point to evangelize me about the injustice of the system. Greg, I'll call him. Greg has spent 83% of his adult life in prison. It boils down to drug addiction, meth specifically. His original charges were fraud and then for possession of ammunition after becoming a felon. He violated probation, missing a urinary analysis test. The federal marshalls went to Graham from Tacoma to kidnap him from his parents house. He was in the backyard power washing the sidewalk when they entered through the electric fence, guns drawn. He had warned his girlfriend it could happen, that he would just disappear for two weeks until he could get out a phone call. It did. He told the judge how he just needed a drug program. He was supervisor with an asbestos removal company making $38.05 an hour. He had paid off $8000 of the $16,000 child support debt for his two boys. They live in Yakima. He currently makes $0.12 an hour as a dorm orderly when it costs $0.30 for Ramen soup. He knows how it will be at the halfway house; they'll force him to pay down part of the child support first, then out of the gross earnings 25% is taken to pay the cost of the halfway housing. 50% is taken for child support automatically from his paycheck.
Why do American taxpayers pay for him to do nothing here? He wonders. He could get a violation of probation for associating with felons outside, but in here it's okay? Couldn't he have an employment that pays a real wage so he could make a dent in the child support responsibilities? He wants people to become educated about the prisons, the fact that for meth and a gun a kid will get ten years.
He appreciates the privilege of how things are. "The further south you go, the more politics...races don't talk to each other."
It infuriates Greg to remember how a sex offender was given $20,000 bond right in front of him but he got $60,000. "The guy gets out in two months for a treatment program but I'm stuck for 8 months." He says the recidivism rate, or likelihood of a repeat offense for probation violations is 85% compared to the recidivism rate for sex offenders of 100%. It looks to Greg therefore that society would rather prevent the loss of a few hundred people's good credit than secure the protection of children against a crime that will destroy their whole lives.
----------------------------------
The following is written by Greg, enclosed with Chris' letter.
By Greg
3.13.2011
All the things that earth provides for humans to live and coincide
the earth, the moon, the evening stars, the planets above like the one they call mars.
We have birds and bees, flowers and trees, incredible love and hopes and dreams,
we have all these things we're meant to see, all the things above the earth and in the sea.
Why then do we pretend to toy, by building bombs meant to destroy.
It is said there is enough to kill all, you and me and even the birds and the fish in the sea.
Why is it hard to get along when laws they write are meant to fight.
What is the deal when they'd rather kill than heal.
I really just can't understand, why it's okay for them and not me to stand.
I stood up on my own two feet, they stuck me in prison and called my defeat.
They make up lies and tell it their way, telling everyone else "WE'RE WRONG" and that's ok?
I write from in prison just happy and free, because they took my freedom but my heart leads the way!
I hope from now on you'll see what is true, knowing who prints the money and makes the laws: they do!!!
Dear Anne,
"A stray sheep was Israel that Lions pursued; formerly the King of Assyria devoured her, now Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon gnaws her bones." Jeremiah 50: 17
One of the orderlies made a point to evangelize me about the injustice of the system. Greg, I'll call him. Greg has spent 83% of his adult life in prison. It boils down to drug addiction, meth specifically. His original charges were fraud and then for possession of ammunition after becoming a felon. He violated probation, missing a urinary analysis test. The federal marshalls went to Graham from Tacoma to kidnap him from his parents house. He was in the backyard power washing the sidewalk when they entered through the electric fence, guns drawn. He had warned his girlfriend it could happen, that he would just disappear for two weeks until he could get out a phone call. It did. He told the judge how he just needed a drug program. He was supervisor with an asbestos removal company making $38.05 an hour. He had paid off $8000 of the $16,000 child support debt for his two boys. They live in Yakima. He currently makes $0.12 an hour as a dorm orderly when it costs $0.30 for Ramen soup. He knows how it will be at the halfway house; they'll force him to pay down part of the child support first, then out of the gross earnings 25% is taken to pay the cost of the halfway housing. 50% is taken for child support automatically from his paycheck.
Why do American taxpayers pay for him to do nothing here? He wonders. He could get a violation of probation for associating with felons outside, but in here it's okay? Couldn't he have an employment that pays a real wage so he could make a dent in the child support responsibilities? He wants people to become educated about the prisons, the fact that for meth and a gun a kid will get ten years.
He appreciates the privilege of how things are. "The further south you go, the more politics...races don't talk to each other."
It infuriates Greg to remember how a sex offender was given $20,000 bond right in front of him but he got $60,000. "The guy gets out in two months for a treatment program but I'm stuck for 8 months." He says the recidivism rate, or likelihood of a repeat offense for probation violations is 85% compared to the recidivism rate for sex offenders of 100%. It looks to Greg therefore that society would rather prevent the loss of a few hundred people's good credit than secure the protection of children against a crime that will destroy their whole lives.
----------------------------------
The following is written by Greg, enclosed with Chris' letter.
By Greg
3.13.2011
All the things that earth provides for humans to live and coincide
the earth, the moon, the evening stars, the planets above like the one they call mars.
We have birds and bees, flowers and trees, incredible love and hopes and dreams,
we have all these things we're meant to see, all the things above the earth and in the sea.
Why then do we pretend to toy, by building bombs meant to destroy.
It is said there is enough to kill all, you and me and even the birds and the fish in the sea.
Why is it hard to get along when laws they write are meant to fight.
What is the deal when they'd rather kill than heal.
I really just can't understand, why it's okay for them and not me to stand.
I stood up on my own two feet, they stuck me in prison and called my defeat.
They make up lies and tell it their way, telling everyone else "WE'RE WRONG" and that's ok?
I write from in prison just happy and free, because they took my freedom but my heart leads the way!
I hope from now on you'll see what is true, knowing who prints the money and makes the laws: they do!!!
One, two, three, four...this is what you have in store
From a letter 7 March 2011
From the FDC SeaTac Inmate Orientation handbook:
"Official counts are scheduled to ensure accountability of all inmates committed to the facility. During the course of the day, Monday through Friday, there are five official counts. The counts are as follows: 12:01 am, 3:00 am, 5:00 am, 4:00 pm, and 10:00 pm. In addition, a 10:00 am count is conducted on weekends and federal holidays. The 4:00 pm and 10:00 am counts are standing counts. You must stand, no exceptions. If staff are conducting a picture count you will be required to state your name and register number to the requesting staff. It is your responsibility to be ready for the count when the time nears. The Unit Officer will announce, "COUNT TIME" when it is time to count and you are expected to:
From the FDC SeaTac Inmate Orientation handbook:
"Official counts are scheduled to ensure accountability of all inmates committed to the facility. During the course of the day, Monday through Friday, there are five official counts. The counts are as follows: 12:01 am, 3:00 am, 5:00 am, 4:00 pm, and 10:00 pm. In addition, a 10:00 am count is conducted on weekends and federal holidays. The 4:00 pm and 10:00 am counts are standing counts. You must stand, no exceptions. If staff are conducting a picture count you will be required to state your name and register number to the requesting staff. It is your responsibility to be ready for the count when the time nears. The Unit Officer will announce, "COUNT TIME" when it is time to count and you are expected to:
- STOP doing what you are doing and go to your assigned cell or area;
- Remain silent during the count;
- Remain in your cell until the officer has announced that the count is clear.
Rant
Here's a little snippet of a rant by James.
-------------------------------------------
7 March 2011
"I can't wait to get the hell out of America," says James. Last night we take laps for a half hour. It's not quite a Dennis Miller face with a bit of Paul Bunyan and a bit of leprechaun with a shaggy gray-tinged auburn beard. "In LA, man, sure there's the beaches but there's a whole lot I didn't need to see: the abuse of wealth, the ostentation, the racism, the prejudice. People don't even care," he rants, "that their government stomps around the hemisphere and invades countries around the world...just look at how it all began, with mass genocide against the lands inhabitants."
-------------------------------------------
7 March 2011
"I can't wait to get the hell out of America," says James. Last night we take laps for a half hour. It's not quite a Dennis Miller face with a bit of Paul Bunyan and a bit of leprechaun with a shaggy gray-tinged auburn beard. "In LA, man, sure there's the beaches but there's a whole lot I didn't need to see: the abuse of wealth, the ostentation, the racism, the prejudice. People don't even care," he rants, "that their government stomps around the hemisphere and invades countries around the world...just look at how it all began, with mass genocide against the lands inhabitants."
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