Moments

Gn 19:5 They called to Lot and said to him, ‘Where are the men who came to your house tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have intimacies with them.’

7 May 2011

Dear Anne,

“Listen, my people, I will speak; I need no bullock from your house, no goats from your fold. For every animal of the forest is mine, beasts by the thousands on my mountains. I know every bird of the heaven; the creatures of the field belong to me.” Ps 51

On Fridays and Saturdays after 10 PM lockdown for count we get another free spell until 11:30. Tonight I lay in my bunk in love with the sounds of the men at recreation. To Crow I put it thus, “I still remember being fifteen in love. We would lay side by side gazing into each other’s eyes.” I still remember the flecks of sunlight buried in her swirling blue irises. I didn’t need to go on about how as a celibate I look with love on my context. He was envisioning his girl again “That is one of the most intimate times,” he said.

Yes, and now the unit has locked down and still and moments unfold in mind. Yesterday. Today intermingling. Old Matt lies on his bunk talking with his dentures out, patting his belly. He returned from an attempted surgery to refasten the tendon of his bicep. “I was still groggy but I think I heard them say, 'Bring him on the 13th.’ They won’t tell you. You’re not supposed to know when they take you so you don’t call someone to meet you in the hospital.”

His injury supposedly happened since locked up, but who knows. When going to the hospital like this, he tells me, they take you to the hole. “Man I was dizzy with all that bright orange: the jumpsuit, t-shirt, boxers, socks—even orange slippers. They had regular sheets four years ago though…”

The main complaint of his was from having to fast prior to surgery, so before he got back to the unit at 6:30 PM he had no food since dinner the previous day at 4:30 PM.